A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated
Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my
car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail
on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in
the trash can under the table, and notice that the can is
full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take
out the trash first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills
first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is
only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside
the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had
been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push
the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I
see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put
it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of
flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my
reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm
going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a
container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it
on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be
looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the
kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it
belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it
spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some
towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was
planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed,

the bills aren't paid,

there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,

the flowers don't have enough water,

there is still only one check in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long,
and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get
some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!